Episode Five – Breaking Pot (B.P)
Wednesday was fun men! We went for church wrecking. Allow me to fill you in. You see, we just sat in the sitting room tuning the TV and checking the local stations because the cable had no signal. On one of the channel was this acclaimed pastor talking about his every last Wednesday service where he breaks pots (of spiritual yokes). Let’s call him Pastor B.P (breaking pot). Don’t wanna reveal his name for reputation sake.
Pastor B.P (on TV): Hello there! I am inviting you to my program this coming last Wednesday where there shall be breaking of pots. This program holds every last Wednesday of every month. Why are we breaking pots? To break those pots in the coven, shrines, spiritual realms, etc and release you from satanic bondage, frustration, failure, etc. So go and buy your pot and come with it on Wednesday by 4pm, let’s break them.
Me: If that is so, why should people buy and come with pots? How is the one in the market related to those in the witches custody? Scam!
Kelvin: He didn’t even say the type of pot, right?
Isaac: Yes? But it’s obvious he meant ceramic or native pots.
Kelvin: Let’s attend that church program.
Me: Oga for why?
Kelvin: He didn’t specify the type of pot, which means any type of pot is accepted as long as it’s new. Imagine if we bring a steel pot.
Isaac: And what spiritual case do you plan to present?
Kelvin: Oh I’ve got one. A serious one. So who’s in?
Well we wouldn’t be called The AmazingTrio if we weren’t all in.
Wednesday came and we set in motion to execute Kelvin’s plan, which he didn’t fully disclose to us.
We dressed in flashy clothes like rich teens. Isaac, as directed by Kelvin, wore a customized T-shirt bearing Presco my maternal family company’s label. We went to the church early, some minutes before the service to get noticed, so we won’t be left out during the pot breaking ritual. Kelvin had bought the pot the day before and we wrapped it very well in black.
Pastor B.P: Welcome. You boys are very early. Bless you.
Kelvin: Thank you sir. We didn’t want to be left out in the pot breaking. So we had to come early.
Pastor B.P: How thoughtful. So what are your names?
Me: I’m Martins, He’s Isaac and he’s Kelvin.
Kelvin: Yes. You see our father sent us. He couldn’t come because he’s busy. He just inherited my grandfather’s company Presco after my grandfather passed away. So he’s busy trying to familiarize himself with the ropes.
Pastor B.P: I see. My condolences for your loss.
Kelvin: Thank you sir. My father heard of your program on the radio of his range rover and mandated us to come on his behalf. He’s been looking for a way to cure our oldest brother and he was sure you could do so. He vowed to buy you any car of your choice if you did.
Pastor B.P: Wow! Really? The Lord is good. What is your brother’s ailment?
Kelvin: His name is Richard. He’s an addicted fornicator.
Pastor B.P: Don’t worry. I’ll attend to you. Your brother will surely be delivered today.
Kelvin: (happily) Oh! Thank you very much sir.
Wow! Kelvin must have balls to lie to a Pastor. He didn’t even tell us all this part of his plan. What if he received some holy knocks on his head? But it seems Pastor B.P believed. He must have pictured himself in his dream car showing off to his relatives, friends and colleagues. Look at the look on his face…he die here!
Isaac: You are lying in the church.
Kelvin: (twist tongue) It’s not lying. It’s called twisting the story.
Isaac: Em, what’s the difference?
Me: I thought he was gonna find us out, probably get a divine revelation or something. I thought they claimed the Lord speaks to them?
Kelvin: Maybe no network today?
After the message and choir rendition, it was time for pot breaking. Finally!
The first set of persons went, he shouted, prayed and smashed their ceramic and clay pots. Then he called on us.
Pastor: The pot?
You should see the look of his face when Kelvin brought it out.
Pastor B.P: Em, What’s this?
Kelvin: Pot sir.
Pastor B.P: It’s not this type of pot.
Kelvin: Actually, it is. The witch that cursed Richard said so herself. She specifically said, “I’ve put your case in a steel pot”. Pastor I’m certain that you are the one to break it.
Pastor B.P took the pot and began to pray. He smashed. Nothing happened to the pot. Instead, a tile cracked. He continued. More cracks on the floor. He couldn’t bear it.
Pastor B.P: This one is strong! Bring me the holy hammer.
Isaac: Wha..? Holy hammer?
Pastor B.P: The Lord was a carpenter’s son. Did you think the devil did not send his demons to attack Joseph’s household in attempt to prevent Jesus’ birth? What did you think Joseph used to battle them? As a carpenter, he used his anointed tool, his spiritual hammer. So of course, hammers can be holy!
An usher brought it. He smashed and smashed with the hammer for about thirty minutes. There was bumps but no breaking. He started to pant and sweat profusely. Another drop and a tile broke. He was frustrated.
Kelvin: Please pastor you have to break it. You’re our only hope. Think about the car.
In his mind, he must be like “these small boys wan spoil my market”.
Pastor B.P: Please take it (he gave it to me, sweating profusely and gasping for breath). Later, later.
Pastor B.P: Let me take a short break and reinforce. This your case is a strong.
After relaxing and drinking water while the choir gave a rendition, he returned to the pulpit but didn’t call on us again. We approached him when the service ended, he was furious.
Pastor B.P: Get lost! Rascals! You agents of the devil! It will not be better for any of you! Bring your heads, let me use it to break the pot!
That’s a pastor cursing. We wish him likewise. We quickly walked away hoping he didn’t remember his church messed up tiles.
Pastor B.P: (yelling from behind). Wait! Come back! My tiles! You must pay for it!
O boy! Running things. We bolted away and went home. Pay for what? Is he not the one that broke the tiles all by himself?
Richie: Where have you guys been?
Kelvin: We went to one church like that.
Richie: How was it?
Me: Amazing. That’s why we’re the AmazingTrio. What about you? Where were you?
Richie: With Adora.
Isaac: You mean head girl Adora in school?
Richie: Yep. She’s great in bed. Could hit on that anytime.
Me: So while we were smashing your case in church, you were somewhere smashing Adora?
Kelvin: Remember, the pot didn’t break. That’s why he’s still like this.
Richie: Pot? What pot? What are you guys talking about?
Kelvin: The pot of food in the kitchen. We are just hungry.
Few days later, we tuned into the local stations.
Pastor B.P: Hello there! I am inviting you to my program this coming last Wednesday where there shall be breaking of pots. This program holds every last Wednesday of every month. Why are we breaking pots? To break those pots in the coven, shrines, spiritual realms, etc and release you from satanic bondage, frustration, failure, etc. So go and buy your pot and come with it on Wednesday by 4pm, let’s break them. Please, clay pots only!
Hehehe. Guess he learnt his lesson.
Until next time.
Stay tuned peeps!