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Martins Diaries 2: Episode One

Wadup people! It’s season two y’all. It feel so good to be back with your favorite comedy serie exclusive to martinswrites. If you’ve forgotten our characters, well do well to remind yourself by looking at Season’s one introduction.



Episode One — Pastor Friyo Vigil

You know this yuletide is fully packaged with lots of church programs and vigils. And pastor Friyo insisted, nay forced us, in the house to come to his church night vigil.

When the service started, we sat down on the second row. Well I was on the third behind them. The 5-man choir started singing some songs. I could tell Isaac was uncomfy. Not his kind of service – the acapella filled kind.

After listening to pastor Friyo’s crappy and “on to of the voice” message, (I wonder if he didn’t know what the mic and speakers are meant for), it was time for a little praise session.

Men! the man sitting next to me was a spirits killer. He had his own terrible versions of some songs.

Man: You are not that worthy lord to be praised and adored… 

And I’m like what?! To think of it, that part seems to have two different lyrics. I mean some people say “you are more than worthy…” while some say “you alone art worthy…” I use the former but it’s hard to know which is the original.

Then there was another song “send down fire! the holy ghost fire!”.

Men I was scared. Never liked the song. If that kind fire was really sent down here, it’s R.I.P for everybody oh. But the man didn’t relent to remix it.

Man: Satan fire, the holy ghost fire. Satan fire again, the holy ghost fire!

Oga! Abeg, Na (is it) war?


Not long after, pastor Friyo came back to the altar for “prayers session”. You should hear some of his prayers.

Pastor Friyo: I disappear and appear….

Well we’ve warned him not to go appear in the wrong place or in front of a running trailer.

See how he was sweating profusely. With all the fans blowing him! Why won’t he sweat after all the fire fire that they’ve been singing!

After which the choir took over again. Little did I know that the man sitting next to me was warming up earlier with his remix. He kept dropping them back to back this time.


Choir: Somebody say baba; baba baba baba. Baba mi loke.

Man: Baba baba baba baba, baba it’s OK, baba, baba it’s OK baba…

Oga, you better not complain if the Lord is no longer blessing you anymore since all the ones he has done for you “is OK”.

Choir: We go dey hail, hail your name, day by day, all the way…

Man: We go dey dey, dey your lane, day by day, all the way…

Choir: Casting crowns, lifting hands, bowing hearts, is all we’ve come to do…

Man: casting yams, lifting hen, ploughing hearts, is all we’ve come to do…

Ah! Oga, is it sacrifice?

And when I thought it was finally over, he launched another remix.

Choir: jehovah jireh… jehovah nissi… …Jehovah mi ga… Jehovah mi fe… Jehovah mi jin…

Man:the rover he see… the rover nigga… the rover he fell…the rover engine… the rover uncle wire… the rover la liga… the rover peperempe… the rover need ikebe….

Oga, are you sure you did not use your destiny to do tithe in this church?

See you next week.

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