Saturdays are for weddings! Bella is a blogger, she blogs about the weddings she attends. This series “Wedding Fever” unravels some of such weddings but with an unexpected turn of events. It is completely fictional and meant to be a comedy.
Episode Five- Hold Your Peace
The St. Martin Catholic Church was overly decorated. Wedding bells were a’ ringing. It was the white wedding between Sarah and Abraham.
The bride had walked down the aisle to meet her groom and the two lovebirds stood before the officiating priest to exchange their vows and bless their union.
Abraham and Sarah stared deeply into each other’s eyes, as the priest continued the sacrament. The kind of energy bouncing off the happy couple, it was obvious love was in the air and Bella could feel it.
“Is there anyone here that has any just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together? Let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
The priest’s unending pause and the guests’ murmurings were what pulled the groom and bride out of their deep gaze, to notice that a young man had stood up as the priest uttered that statement.
“You have something to say?” the priest inquired.
“Yes sir.” The young man replied. “Abraham, I can’t allow you to marry Sarah because she is my lover. I love her and I know she loves me too.”
“What?!” Sarah exclaimed. “Wait! Do I know you?”
“Ah, Sarah you want to deny me. Tell everybody here, was I not your first? In school, we would spend every weekend together at my place enjoying each other.”
“Is that true? Is he saying the truth?
I thought you said no man has ever touched you?”
Sarah stood bewildered.
“Is that that she told you? My brother, we dey do tire. We have even done two abortions.”
“Blood of Jesus! The lord have mercy on you.” The priest commented.
“Abomination!” the groom’s mother spat from her seat.
“What?! What are you saying? Please baby I don’t know him. I’ve never seen him in my life. Everything he’s saying is lies! Fat lies!!”
“Even the day you proposed to her. That night she came to my place for one last time. But when I begged her not to marry you, she promised to still be seeing me even after you get married.”
“Ba-by, I-I-I can never do such a thing.”
“Ah! Sarah, why are you denying it? We are in church oh. Say the truth. See, she even came to my place yesterday and we did like 5 rounds.”
“What!? Sarah how could you?” the groom fumed.
“Baby, I swear he’s lying on my head. Why are you doing this to me?” She burst into tears.
“She’s still denying. Oya, is this not yours?” He pulled out a red female’s pant from his trouser’s pocket. “You forgot it at my place yesterday.”
The guests started murmuring even louder.
“Shame on you!” the groom’s mother spat again.
“You cheat!” Abraham snapped and landed a hot slap on her cheek that she fell on the ground. He looked upon her with contempt and disgust.
“You are a bloody liar! I’ll kill you right here, right now!!”
“Ah! bros, bros calm down. Take am easy. The matter never reach (escalate) slapping level oh. Nor go kill her oh. Na prank be this oh. I was just joking oh. I don’t know her oh, neither have I seen her before.”
“What did you say?” the groom raised his eyebrow.
“Let me explain. My name is Ericardo. I’m a comedian. I followed my friend to your wedding, so I say make I use the opportunity take prank una small.” he explained with a sheepish smile.
“I nor know say you dey quick vex, and I nor expect say you go slap your bride. Be like person nor dey follow you play oh.”
See community beating!
The guy collect ehn!!
From pinching to biting to scraping to hitting to kicking to punching. Everybody wanted a piece of him. They even fished out the friend that he tagged along with and beat the hell out of both of them.
Next time he’ll learn to keep his prank to himself and hold his peace.
Meanwhile, Abraham is still trying to beg Sarah for her forgiveness so the wedding can go on.
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