How to be a Billionaire in Nigeria

It's Easier to be a Billionaire than a Millionaire

Let me start off by saying this is not a motivational post!

Alright, so if you’re reading this, it’s most likely because you are just so curious to know if I know what the hell I’m talking about or if this is just another of my pathetic attempt to be funny and waste your precious time, especially when I’m neither a millionaire nor billionaire…presently.

And I don’t blame you. You have every right to think that. You’re probably right. I’ve basically portrayed martinswrites through this blog to somewhat of a clown. So why will you want to take me seriously? What could possibly make this post any different?

You’re not the first to expect this of me. I once told a girl I had feelings for her; then in the long run after she’s with someone, I told her again and she told me, “I must’ve thought you were joking then because that’s what I’m thinking now.” I be clown na. And then she rounded it off with “You know you are not always serious.”

So I get it. No hard feelings. It’s basically the story of my life; people not taking me seriously. I eat it for breakfast. I have a reputation for not being serious, go figures! But if only this time you will hear me out…

I’m sure you are familiar with Davido’s song titled “IF”, yep, the one with the lyrics:

If I tell you say I love you, o
My money my body na your own, o baby
Thirty billion for the account, io
Versace, Gucci for your body, o baby

I bet you are most likely going to sing along this line out loud when jamming to it, even though your account is pretty much a drop of water, not in a mighty ocean but on an empty basin, on the brink of evaporating.

So how exactly does one become a billionaire in Nigeria?

Funny thing, the answer is in singing. No silly, I am not saying you should go become a musician, seriously have you heard yourself singing before? You might as well be croaking…unless you really do have a beautiful voice…fingers crossed.

I mean singing that Davido’s song. You know how they say there is power in the tongue, power in words, what you speak is what you proclaim…you know, the usual motivational clichés.

So when next you plug in your earphones, or you are at a party or another of Davido’s concert and jamming to the song “IF” by Davido, anytime you get to that part, sing it with all passion. Don’t sing it as if you’re referring to Davido’s account, dumbass, sing it as if you’re referring to your own account.

There, you are now a Billionaire.
It’s that simple.

It doesn’t matter what other people say, as long as you believe it, that’s all that matters…well unless you’re stupid enough to attempt to actually buy something with it.

There, I feel like I have helped you and you are welcome.

Thank goodness, the song didn’t go… 30 million in the account… else it wouldn’t be this easy to be a billionaire, a self-acclaimed billionaire that is. Lol.

What? Obviously, you were expecting this, weren’t you? I practically prepared your mind not to expect anything less from the get-go, didn’t I?

You couldn’t be that gullible to expect me, I mean ME, to tell you how to be a billionaire. What do I know about becoming one? I’m not a motivational speaker oh. Making that kind of money nor be beans oh.

At this point, I know you probably want a piece of me, right? Chances are, same with the person that read this before you. So get in line. 🤪😅😆

Anyways, whether you wish to be a millionaire or billionaire, permit me to sign off with this rich man’s quote from a poor boy:

The right way to make money is by solving problems, not by creating them.


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